[ Megumi is steady throughout. for all his pragmatism, he doesn't think of himself as fatalistic; not when he doesn't need to be, not when they're still talking in hypotheses. this is a 'if' situation, not a 'when' situation. ]
Alright. [ then he doesn't have to get into the details. straight to business, then. ] I've already mentioned to my roommate about how he can deal with me if I ever get possessed. You should know those things too, but there's something I haven't told him that you should know.
[ because Natori is... well, he's not a fighter. at the end of the day, he can't tell Natori to do what Megumi knows he can't.
so. after a beat: ] Vangeance-san. If I'm ever not myself, and you see me take this stance—
[ he extends one arm. the hand balls into a fist, and he shifts his heels on soft grass.
inhale, exhale. he pulls his posture, as if he's drawing a bow. ] —Take me out. Quickly.
[ He studies that stance in silence, immediately commits it to memory. Then closes his eyes. Further pictures it, to engrave it in his mind. That done, he thinks. Just for a moment. Then opens his eyes and says, calmly, ]
... you need to be more specific.
[ Maybe his first response should have been ‘no.’ Or ‘I refuse.’ Or ‘I won’t hurt you.’ Maybe that would have come from someone kinder, someone more considerate. A genuinely good person. But Vangeance has no delusions about who he ultimately is — a Knight, a Captain, and most importantly, a terrible and cruel person when given enough reason. If Megumi is expecting that from him, as one fighter to another, it would be disrespectful of him not to respond appropriately.
At least for now.
So he continues, his voice perfectly level, ]
If the stance is what’s vital, would it be enough to break the stance? For example, rendering you unconscious. If the possession is capable of moving you even when you’re unconscious, I could break your limbs. But an even simpler solution would be restraining or trapping you. What is the quickest, minimum action you’re asking of me?
[ it doesn't feel good. this. it feels like taking a leaf out of a book he should leave closed— like taking advantage of someone's capability to compensate for the lack of his own.
but he doesn't have a failsafe, here. the concept and a deterrent in the form of one man and his title of 'strongest' doesn't exist in Fogtown; something bitter crawls up the back of Megumi's throat, but he swallows it.
he knows what he's asking for is cruel. but he can't think of anyone else who could or would say yes. ]
You don't have to kill me. [ his tone is equally level; it's evident that this isn't his point of contention. it's more about the reality that he has to ask. ] But keeping me conscious is too much of a risk.
[ because he might attempt it again, and the more chances he's afforded, the less ideal things can get. ]
If you have to keep me conscious, break my arms. From the shoulder, preferably. [ to completely shut down mobility. possessions can do wonders for pain tolerance, after all. ] But it needs to be quick.
[ So Megumi isn’t so callous as to ask for a mercy kill. Good. Some of the anger and worry that he’d been keeping tamped down in the pit of his stomach subsides. But it doesn’t vanish, and Vangeance has to willfully keep the remainder chained in place, like he’s always done with so many of his uglier emotions. He nods again in understanding. ]
Alright. [ Plain. Matter-of-fact. ] Ideally render you unconscious and keep you that way. If that’s not possible, then break both arms above the elbow as swiftly as possible.
I’ll be sure to remember it.
[ Then silence. Matter resolved, right? A solid ‘yes,’ practically a promise. A guarantee of some sort of fail safe, exactly what Megumi was looking for.
But after a very meaningful pause, Vangeance speaks again: ]
Now, Fushiguro. [ And now there’s an edge to his voice. Something more stern and authoritative. Not anger, but closer to it than he was before, and he gives a humorless smile. ] Explain what exactly happens if you take that stance.
[ Because now that Megumi has gotten what he wanted, that understanding of what must be done, he has no excuse to remain silent on the subject. And as patient and understanding as Vangeance generally is, this has shot far past the limits of what he’s content to let slide without explanation. Vangeance has granted him a great deal of trust by going along with the conversation so far, and he knows that Megumi won’t betray that trust by balking now. Surely. ]
Thank you. [ simply, without pretense. still, the last thing Megumi wants is a death on the other man's conscience; again, this is all still firmly within the realm of the hypothetical. if anything happens, Megumi will do his level best to make sure that people aren't mopping up after his fuckups, but...
...his brows furrow. even Vangeance's acquiescence doesn't settle neatly (his relief only manifests briefly, in an exhale and the loosening of his posture back to normal); the very reasonable, very expected followup question hangs between them, clipped by Vangeance's insistence.
it's not an unreasonable ask. Megumi isn't unwilling to divulge, either. ]
—You know how I call for my shikigami. [ he pulls his hands up again, and weaves them into different shapes: dog, frog, bird. ] The ones I usually summon are ones I exorcised in the past and have control over. They become a part of me, and they obey me.
But I can also summon shikigami that I haven't exorcised yet.
[ his shadow shifts under his feet. ]
The stance I just took is to summon my trump card. ...A shikigami that no one has been able to exorcise before. Not once. [ no matter how strong; a handful even for someone with world-bending powers. he relays all of this with quiet calm, bordering on detachment. ] If I summon it, it'll kill me and everyone else around me.
[ ‘What an ugly, inelegant weapon,’ Vangeance thinks.
‘One that should never have been entrusted to someone this young.’
Because he understands now why Megumi asked him for that favor. Falling under the influence of this island’s possession and summoning a creature of that nature would be devastating. And while the Grand Magic Knight in him bristles at the thought that a single summoned creature might be able to best him in combat, he knows that’s not the point. The solution that Megumi proposed is logically the best way to minimize any damage — sacrificing the wellbeing of a single youth in order to ensure no lives are lost. He gets it. He really does.
But that does nothing to quell the disgust boiling in the pit of his stomach. He fights those ugly feelings down, but Megumi might feel a faint, electric tension in the atmosphere, the air moving just enough to shift the hem of Vangeance’s cloak; his natural reserve of mana is tremendous, and even a small amount of it seeping out in response to his emotions must be palpable. ]
... I have to assume such an ability isn’t granted to just anyone. [ His words are still calm, but his eyes are narrowed and that smile is gone, humorless or not. ] Did you choose to obtain it?
[ the static in the air laps at his exposed skin. tension in hues of kindness, in indignance shaped by knowledge of pain and suffering. Megumi tries to map the feeling of Vangeance's disgust, and all he can think of is his sister and her hands on her hips. "Megumi, promise me you won't get into fights anymore".
(good people are always like this. expending their anger on behalf of others. setting aside the unfair terms of their own lives and accepting them. choosing, instead, to care.
it rankles to know that Megumi's bartered Vangeance's peace of mind with his own weakness.) ]
I was born with it. [ a ten billion yen pedigree. he feels absolutely nothing about the price of his own blood, or the injustice of it; life, like many things, is unfair. ] It's inherent to me. So I use it.
[ no more, no less. once upon a time, it might've been a burden— the curse of his own ability, in its potential— but there's no bitterness in the way Megumi strings his words.
after all, it hasn't all been bad. the feel of Gyokuken's fur under his palm, the warm shroud of Nue's feathers against his cheek. he knows how to balance his own scales.
and, after a breath: ]
...Vangeance-san.
I didn't say all of this to make you worry. [ he pauses again, to think. ] I'm not going to go out of my way to be possessed.
I just wanted you to know. [ so no one gets hurt. ] —So you'd know I wouldn't be pissed if you did beat me up. [ he slides that last part in there, offhandedly. ]
And you were born with the knowledge of that stance? The consequences of it? [ The corner of his mouth quirks into a gentle, sardonic smile. ] You must have been quite the fearsome child.
[ There’s a chance that’s true, he supposes. But it’s far more likely that Megumi was only born with the capability. The knowledge came afterwards, from those around him. Someone must have taught Megumi that, in a truly worst-case scenario, his own life is simply another weapon to be used.
Adults are unfair, and underhanded, and stubborn. They both know that. But it pains Vangeance that the adults in Megumi’s life didn’t exercise their right to deceive in order to shield him from such dangerous knowledge. Something that should have been given to him cautiously, carefully, had instead been wrenched into him without finesse, and for Vangeance, the thought alone makes his chest ache.
That tension in the air subsides slowly, the flow of mana around him settling until the hem of his cloak rests still near his ankles once more, and Vangeance gives a small sigh. He’s calm because it’s second nature for him to make himself calm. But he’s never been unemotional — it’s simply that he forces his emotions down deep, only allowing them to skim the surface, and he does the same with the indignity and upset he feels on Megumi’s behalf right now. ]
I would have known all of that without your telling me. You aren’t reckless, but you’re also dutiful. If I incapacitated you this very moment because I believed you were a threat to others, I’m sure you would later accept that explanation with little protest or resentment. [ It was arrogant of Megumi to assume any of that hadn’t already been picked up on from their past discussions, but such is the nature of youth. Vangeance isn’t angry about that. His voice remains at the same composed lilt it always does as he continues gently, ] But ... what was it you told me before? I have good reason to be overbearing? That is also still true.
[ Megumi can say what he wants, but they both know that it isn’t right or fair for him to have to shoulder this burden. And Vangeance refuses to let that go unacknowledged. ]
[ a visible hesitation. the subject of someone's empathy is easier to digest when it's not directed at him; Megumi squares his shoulders with all the obstinacy of a child who's made it his job to stand on his own two feet. a habit more than a decade in the making, of knowing that the slightest sign of weakness could net him in a difficult position.
there's nothing he has to say in response to Vangeance's first claim. for all of his eagerness to throw his mentor under the bus in casual conversation, Megumi's tight-lippedness speaks to his unwillingness to critique the broad strokes of the same man's approach to his upbringing. the sentiment that settles in his eyes, calmer than they were when he admitted to his powers, is simple: it is what it is.
they're all fractured, broken people. Megumi doesn't begrudge his benefactor his attempt to equip Megumi with the tools necessary to navigate their labyrinthine circumstances. ]
...I appreciate what you're saying.
[ two years ago, Megumi wouldn't have. probably wouldn't have acknowledged it, nor would have put himself in this uniquely inopportune position. even now, this feels too close to relying on someone else for it to be comfortable— the way his syllables clip is a testament to his growing pains.
but he's steady. he accepts Vangeance first, because Vangeance is kind, and he looks without flinching at the patterns of the man's empathy, because that, too, is Vangeance's choice.
(because Vangeance is a man that hurts for others, and Megumi feels badly for putting him here.) ]
But my ability doesn't bother me. [ and, in all honesty? it doesn't. it isn't posturing, nor is it arrogance: again, it is what it is. ] I have duties, now. People I want to save. If there's something in my arsenal that I can use to see things through, then I would rather know about it than have it hidden from me.
[ because the alternative is knowing that he could have done something after the fact, and that would break him more; he knows that, now. hands at his sides, he keeps his focus on Vangeance. ] Being young isn't an excuse for me to not do my utmost.
[ Megumi’s gaze is steady, and Vangeance meets it in silence for a moment. He takes in the whole picture — the resolute slope of his shoulders, the slant of that tight-lipped expression, those hands held loose but so, so steady.
And after a moment, he answers softly, ]
... very well.
[ He acquiesces, and not reluctantly, or because he has no choice. He acquiesces because he understands the gravity of Megumi’s words, and no matter how he feels, to reject them now would be an unspeakable insult. Megumi is young, but not so young that he’d thoughtlessly accept the heavy burden of life-bound duties, and not so brash that he’d declare them without true dedication.
And Vangeance knows that he, of all people, could never begrudge someone who knows what they stand for. Megumi is able to say, without hesitation, without second thoughts, without regrets that he knows what he’s fighting for, and Vangeance knows that that alone makes Megumi a far stronger person than he’s ever been.
He continues quietly, gentle but encouraging. Steadfast. Accepting without any further stipulations: ]
I promise, then. I’ll do everything to prevent it, of course. But if the time ever comes, I will act without hesitation and do what you asked of me.
[ And, replaying Megumi’s words in his mind, he allows himself to feel a tiny wisp of relief. “People I want to save.” Not ‘need,’ not out of principle, but ‘want.’ Morals and a strong conscience alone can’t sustain a Knight, no matter how dutiful. A protector needs people. The bare minimum that anyone deserves. And Megumi is so many things — stoic, self-reliant, capable and mature — that he’d worried. Needlessly, it seems. True solitude, at least, doesn’t seem like something Megumi has chosen to endure.
He’s truly glad that Megumi is able to trust, and Vangeance allows himself a small smile. ]
I know this isn’t something you’d tell me without a great deal of consideration. [ ‘Thank you for trusting me.’ ] So you have my word.
[ —Vangeance gives in. something slightly novel; "expect nothing, anticipate everything" is more familiar. a moment passes where Megumi is silent, where he weighs the weight of Vangeance's words, and when all is said and done—
—he nods. notes the way the man smiles, as always. takes in his steadiness, in turn. as if this sort of balancing act isn't new for him.
(if anything, Megumi will do his utmost not to be a burden; not because he told Vangeance about his trump card, but because he's the sort of man that takes those warnings to heart.) ]
Thank you.
[ polite, but without the detached formality of a teenager going through the motions. what he lacks in decorum, he makes up for with eye contact that only breaks when he's sure that Vangeance understands.
a low breath, and he shifts his feet on grass. ]
Hopefully, we won't have to talk about it again. [ dryly, as if to move right on along. he doesn't want Vangeance to dwell, after all— it's all hypothetical, and he doesn't want that 'if' to drag. ] —Sorry.
[ His smile remains steady, even as he cleanly rejects that last 'sorry': ]
I wasn't aware you did anything that merits an apology.
[ The tone and cadence of his voice remain light and breezy, keeping the admonishment gentle, but the hard focus of his gaze is obvious even past the shadow cast by his mask. He won't be budging on that point.
There's a tacit agreement here, which he hopes Megumi understands -- he accepted the request not as an individual, but as a Knight and a professional, willing to act without remorse if necessary. If he ends up dwelling on this (which he will), that's his own responsibility, not Megumi's.
He gently plucks his grimoire out of the air and closes it, the soft thump signifying the end of that conversation. And as he stows it away at his belt once more, he gives a thoughtful hum, soft and light. ]
But your abilities really are quite astounding. I noticed you arrived here on a different companion, as well -- some manner of bird?
[ the grimoire snaps shut with finality, and the air around them shifts. it doesn't quite become easier to breathe, but Megumi rolls his shoulders and tips his chin to the sky, breaking his focus from Vangeance and his calm to acclimate his attention to the rolling faded-grey of the clouds above him.
perspective. a moment to reorient. a held exhale, silent through his teeth.
the world is still turning. Megumi casts his gaze back down again, and answers the question. ]
You could say that. [ up goes his hands, thumbs hooked and fingers cupped. his shadow extends behind him in the shape of that winged beast, and it rears up to settle primly by Megumi's side. obedient, in every sense of the word.
he rests his palm on the flat of Nue's head. the touch is gentle. ] ―Which reminds me. Has this place affected your abilities in any way?
[ Vangeance gives a small start when that creature(?) comes lurching out of Megumi's shadow. It truly seems convenient, being able to summon familiars like this in an instant, and he tries very hard not to think about the caveat that Megumi had explained -- that Megumi must have exorcised these beasts before.
He's still glancing Nue over, head canted curiously, when that question gets him to look up. ]
... no, I don't believe my magic's been affected.
[ That said, he approaches a half-step, hand slightly raised. Meeting Megumi's gaze to ask for permission to touch Nue. The dog from before had more closely resembled a regular animal, but this one's mask makes it a little less approachable, and he's not sure if it would be wise to make contact without approval. ]
I haven't had reason to cast any larger spells yet, but my usual spells seem to be working normally. Have your abilities been affected?
[ admittedly, there's something a little disarming about how everyone wants to seem to touch his shikigami. the argument that they're not pets has been discarded a long time ago; it's pointless to try to change that perspective when no one seems to take it to heart.
they're precious to him, though. Megumi's shikigami. precisely because he's had to put his life on the line to keep them. there's no amount of apprehension to how he gently nudges Nue over to Vangeance ("you can go"), but there's affection in how he combs his fingers over the bird-creature's fur. ]
Not as far as I can tell.
[ Nue cranes forward, its gold eyes set on Vangeance, unblinking. ] —But I've heard that abilities and magic that manifest as an extension of you can be corrupted, so. [ Megumi thinks back to Vangeance and his powers, to how they left that small healing tree unattended after the flood. technically, that tree is still a living thing... right? ]
[ Regardless of what exactly this creature is, Megumi obviously harbors a lot of fondness for it, so Vangeance treats it with the appropriate level of respect. He meets that steady gaze with a small nod before kneeling down and carefully extending a hand to touch at one of its wings.
It gives him an excuse to be silent for a moment and mull over his answer. ]
My magic probably doesn't count as an extension of myself. [ He'll start with this. Something nice and easy and not at all a secret. ] Mine is the control of mana -- energy that exists within all individuals, and in the atmosphere. Mages expend and manipulate mana in different ways, but because it's the same energy that exists everywhere, I don't think it counts as 'a part of us.' Much like you wouldn't count the air you breathe a part of yourself.
[ He's been gently petting at Nue's wing, running his fingers lightly down those long feathers, but slowly stills his hands. Vangeance pauses, and it's only the slightly distant look in his eyes that gives away any hesitation. Then, finally, he continues lightly, in a completely different direction: ]
-- you live in the same house as Natori, don't you? [ He looks up to gauge Megumi's reaction. ] I visited to speak with him a little while ago, and noticed it was the same place you live. Do you speak with him often?
[ Nue is static under Vangeance's palm: warm and tangible, with a faint undercurrent of something that simmers, like the shift of shadows at dusk. it remains compliant to the touch, but not in the restless way that a conventional beast is likely to be.
Megumi listens from behind his shikigami, slotting important details about Vangeance into place. he can, at the very least, cross off secondhand possessions from the man's list of concerns— if the magic he uses isn't inextricably tied to his own lifeforce, then there's less risk of Vangeance catching something unwittingly. good to know.
the pause and the addendum is a little out of left field, though. curiosity angles Megumi's head; one brow raises slightly, and it's evident that he's trying to connect the dots. ]
Yeah, I live with him. [ damn, Natori really gets around... a beat here, on his own part. ] If you're trying to ask me if he's talked to me about you, he hasn't.
[ blunt. Megumi harbors no illusions about the people around him: living in close quarters doesn't mean that they'll confide in him, and vice versa. ]
[ Vangeance blinks at that, then smiles, exhaling softly. How blunt. And guarded. Maybe a little too guarded. ]
He's not the type to gossip needlessly, is he. [ Even if he seems chatty and friendly, Natori does seem to have a shrewder side. Not the type to mindlessly give away information about other people. ] I do think there's a difference between sharing useful information and gossiping, but ... hm.
[ There's another thoughtful pause as he watches Nue's movements, admiring it absently while considering how to approach this.
He'd assumed Natori and Megumi had spoken about the former's inability to access his shiki, especially given the way both of them relied on summons. But given the way Megumi had responded ... is there a chance it's something Natori would be hesitant to disclose? A stain on his reputation, by some chance? Or too personally painful? Maybe. And it'd be remiss of him to discuss something Natori hasn't brought up himself. Then -- ]
Well, that aside, [ Alright. He'll take the fall and just show his cards. It's ... fine, he supposes. At least, it's preferable to the distrust that would occur if somehow Megumi and Natori end up talking and it comes up that he's been hiding information. He doesn't want to damage the little trust he's built up so far, not over this. Vangeance doesn't look up as he continues, quietly, ] It's not my magic, but I have been affected by this place, and he was helping me try to figure it out. I have a companion of sorts, who's been bound. Placed in a deep sleep.
[ Megumi wasn't fishing: if there's one stance he's maintained over the years, it's that he won't push for information until it's given to him. he's no longer the jaded middle-schooler that believed that equilibrium is built on distance, that humans can only cohabitate if they agree to be as inoffensive to each other as possible, but old habits will die hard, and die in agony.
Natori and Vangeance fall under the grand umbrella of "knows a lot, but will only disclose if and when they absolutely have to". this is nothing new for him. Megumi has never been the type to try to force openness from others.
so. it's not exactly surprise that flits across his face when Vangeance does twist the key in that proverbial padlock: it's a combination of wariness (why?) and attentiveness. ]
—Your version of a shikigami?
[ 'companion'. something closer to Natori's shikigami than his own, maybe: humanoids with slightly more agency than his own beasts? hm.
Megumi doesn't interrupt further. he's giving Vangeance space to explain. ]
It's hard to say without knowing exactly how your shikigami are defined but ... he's my spiritual companion. Nothing to do with my magic, and not an entity used for combat. [ He forces himself to keep his voice calm and level, like he always does. And for the most part, he manages to mask the gravity of what he's talking about. Like he really is talking about 'just' a companion. ] Apparently, it would have posed a special risk if I were to be possessed with my companion intact. And so, to minimize that risk, he was bound.
[ A pause, and he sighs before getting back to his feet. ]
I know you only asked about my magic, [ and it obviously isn't a pleasant subject to discuss ] but ... it felt like relevant information. In case you were considering other ways this place might have affected you.
[ Because Megumi is right -- Vangeance isn't the type to frivolously dispense information about himself. But he's willing to relent to a certain degree if it might be useful for others. ]
[ silence. it hangs, and the shape of it isn't as awkward as it is careful; considering, weighing each piece of Vangeance's personal puzzle and picking out the significance of them. putting corners in place, building the outer perimeters of a larger picture.
a non-combatant spirit locked in someone else's body. truth be told, it doesn't sound pleasant: it doesn't seem like anything good would come out of housing another entity in your subconscious, and it seems like it would've been something artificially-induced. people aren't innately born with two distinct personalities, after all.
(or maybe he's projecting. Megumi quashes that personal association before it can take shape). ]
—This island had some sort of reason to believe that the spirit inside of you could break the balance in this place?
[ thinking out loud; Vangeance literally just said that his companion isn't a fighter, but it seems strange that Admin would cripple a harmless entity.
a deep breath, and Megumi tips his chin back up from where he'd been loosely hanging his head in thought. at the end of the day, what they don't know, they don't know— Vangeance has likely thought about this more deeply than he has (it's his business, after all), and if he hasn't come to a conclusion, then Megumi won't, either. at least, not immediately.
so: ] ...Anyway. You're okay? [ being without that spiritual companion doesn't like. hurt him, right? ]
Not mine specifically. It seems anything with its own consciousness poses a risk and must have restrictions placed on it. Or at least, that is the Administrator's logic.
[ He smooths out the folds of his robe as he speaks. With his head ducked like that, it lets him take a moment to exhale slowly, fighting the painful pang in his chest and forcing himself calm. Because Megumi is someone he'd really rather hide the full truth from.
So when he's faced by that question, Vangeance just regards Megumi quietly for a moment, seeming to think the matter over, before smiling gently. Perfectly composed and warm and polished, like the Grand Magic Knight he is. ]
It's unpleasant but acceptable. And it hasn't caused my companion any harm, either. So you've no need to worry.
[ He really does a good job of sounding serene, because this sort of deception is second nature for him.
Though he does pause afterward, as if recalling something. Moving onto the next subject swiftly and (maybe a little too) smoothly: ]
Ah, but. Perhaps I should tell you this, in case it might be necessary in the future. [ He tugs aside the drape of his cloak, turning a little to touch at the pouch at the back of his belt containing his grimoire. ] If I'm ever possessed, it would help to take this away from me. I'm unable to cast complex spells without it. I imagine I'll be much easier to incapacitate that way.
[ there's no reason for Megumi to doubt Vangeance's poise, the way he warms and settles into his smile with all the practice of someone who's made it a habit to project a certain version of himself at all times. "you've no need to worry", he says, and the words are convincing. powerful, in its confidence. as if there's really nothing to consider beyond what Vangeance promises.
after all, the masked man makes a concession. he admits that it's unpleasant, and Megumi is inclined to believe that, at least. even if it's not the entire truth. even if strong people prop themselves up in these halves and build their foundations on top of them.
Megumi doesn't believe the smile, but he accepts it. ]
If it starts feeling strange [ he suggests, before Vangeance moves along: ], you should probably talk to Natori-san.
[ because Natori is a better candidate; would probably relate to Vangeance's issues better. with that out of the way, he's free to focus on the subject of other what-ifs.
he huffs between his teeth. slightly dry. ] Taking your book is going to be harder than breaking my arm, probably.
[ He only smiles vaguely in response to Megumi's advice, giving a small nod.
Because the truth of the matter is that, in this specific case, the Administrator's decision might have been correct. It might be more merciful to keep his 'companion' sealed. No matter how it affects him, and even if it 'feels strange.'
Vangeance glosses over the matter because it's easier that way, instead addressing the dry retort. ]
Perhaps. [ A matter-of-fact response. He's humble, but not so humble as to downplay his own strength. It's true that few in the Kingdom would have been able to best him in combat. ] But I think you ... or some of the others here may be capable of it.
[ He looks Megumi over, assessing his physique and the subtle strength in his stance and posture. Then he gives Nue a small nod and a kind smile, just in case it's capable of feeling warmth and affection, like Megumi's dog had been. ]
In my homeland, those who rely on physical abilities are often looked down upon, seen as having lesser magical abilities. I never truly agreed with that way of thinking ... and I'm sure you and your companion could further prove me right. [ Close combat and speed will be key, in other words. He's reluctant to say it out loud, but he's sure Megumi can read between the lines. ] I don't plan on making myself vulnerable to the possession. But if worst comes to worst, I trust you'll know how to take me down. Through your own strength, or through another's.
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no subject
Alright. [ then he doesn't have to get into the details. straight to business, then. ] I've already mentioned to my roommate about how he can deal with me if I ever get possessed. You should know those things too, but there's something I haven't told him that you should know.
[ because Natori is... well, he's not a fighter. at the end of the day, he can't tell Natori to do what Megumi knows he can't.
so. after a beat: ] Vangeance-san. If I'm ever not myself, and you see me take this stance—
[ he extends one arm. the hand balls into a fist, and he shifts his heels on soft grass.
inhale, exhale. he pulls his posture, as if he's drawing a bow. ] —Take me out. Quickly.
no subject
... you need to be more specific.
[ Maybe his first response should have been ‘no.’ Or ‘I refuse.’ Or ‘I won’t hurt you.’ Maybe that would have come from someone kinder, someone more considerate. A genuinely good person. But Vangeance has no delusions about who he ultimately is — a Knight, a Captain, and most importantly, a terrible and cruel person when given enough reason. If Megumi is expecting that from him, as one fighter to another, it would be disrespectful of him not to respond appropriately.
At least for now.
So he continues, his voice perfectly level, ]
If the stance is what’s vital, would it be enough to break the stance? For example, rendering you unconscious. If the possession is capable of moving you even when you’re unconscious, I could break your limbs. But an even simpler solution would be restraining or trapping you. What is the quickest, minimum action you’re asking of me?
no subject
but he doesn't have a failsafe, here. the concept and a deterrent in the form of one man and his title of 'strongest' doesn't exist in Fogtown; something bitter crawls up the back of Megumi's throat, but he swallows it.
he knows what he's asking for is cruel. but he can't think of anyone else who could or would say yes. ]
You don't have to kill me. [ his tone is equally level; it's evident that this isn't his point of contention. it's more about the reality that he has to ask. ] But keeping me conscious is too much of a risk.
[ because he might attempt it again, and the more chances he's afforded, the less ideal things can get. ]
If you have to keep me conscious, break my arms. From the shoulder, preferably. [ to completely shut down mobility. possessions can do wonders for pain tolerance, after all. ] But it needs to be quick.
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Alright. [ Plain. Matter-of-fact. ] Ideally render you unconscious and keep you that way. If that’s not possible, then break both arms above the elbow as swiftly as possible.
I’ll be sure to remember it.
[ Then silence. Matter resolved, right? A solid ‘yes,’ practically a promise. A guarantee of some sort of fail safe, exactly what Megumi was looking for.
But after a very meaningful pause, Vangeance speaks again: ]
Now, Fushiguro. [ And now there’s an edge to his voice. Something more stern and authoritative. Not anger, but closer to it than he was before, and he gives a humorless smile. ] Explain what exactly happens if you take that stance.
[ Because now that Megumi has gotten what he wanted, that understanding of what must be done, he has no excuse to remain silent on the subject. And as patient and understanding as Vangeance generally is, this has shot far past the limits of what he’s content to let slide without explanation. Vangeance has granted him a great deal of trust by going along with the conversation so far, and he knows that Megumi won’t betray that trust by balking now. Surely. ]
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...his brows furrow. even Vangeance's acquiescence doesn't settle neatly (his relief only manifests briefly, in an exhale and the loosening of his posture back to normal); the very reasonable, very expected followup question hangs between them, clipped by Vangeance's insistence.
it's not an unreasonable ask. Megumi isn't unwilling to divulge, either. ]
—You know how I call for my shikigami. [ he pulls his hands up again, and weaves them into different shapes: dog, frog, bird. ] The ones I usually summon are ones I exorcised in the past and have control over. They become a part of me, and they obey me.
But I can also summon shikigami that I haven't exorcised yet.
[ his shadow shifts under his feet. ]
The stance I just took is to summon my trump card. ...A shikigami that no one has been able to exorcise before. Not once. [ no matter how strong; a handful even for someone with world-bending powers. he relays all of this with quiet calm, bordering on detachment. ] If I summon it, it'll kill me and everyone else around me.
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‘One that should never have been entrusted to someone this young.’
Because he understands now why Megumi asked him for that favor. Falling under the influence of this island’s possession and summoning a creature of that nature would be devastating. And while the Grand Magic Knight in him bristles at the thought that a single summoned creature might be able to best him in combat, he knows that’s not the point. The solution that Megumi proposed is logically the best way to minimize any damage — sacrificing the wellbeing of a single youth in order to ensure no lives are lost. He gets it. He really does.
But that does nothing to quell the disgust boiling in the pit of his stomach. He fights those ugly feelings down, but Megumi might feel a faint, electric tension in the atmosphere, the air moving just enough to shift the hem of Vangeance’s cloak; his natural reserve of mana is tremendous, and even a small amount of it seeping out in response to his emotions must be palpable. ]
... I have to assume such an ability isn’t granted to just anyone. [ His words are still calm, but his eyes are narrowed and that smile is gone, humorless or not. ] Did you choose to obtain it?
[ Or ... was it forced upon him? ]
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(good people are always like this. expending their anger on behalf of others. setting aside the unfair terms of their own lives and accepting them. choosing, instead, to care.
it rankles to know that Megumi's bartered Vangeance's peace of mind with his own weakness.) ]
I was born with it. [ a ten billion yen pedigree. he feels absolutely nothing about the price of his own blood, or the injustice of it; life, like many things, is unfair. ] It's inherent to me. So I use it.
[ no more, no less. once upon a time, it might've been a burden— the curse of his own ability, in its potential— but there's no bitterness in the way Megumi strings his words.
after all, it hasn't all been bad. the feel of Gyokuken's fur under his palm, the warm shroud of Nue's feathers against his cheek. he knows how to balance his own scales.
and, after a breath: ]
...Vangeance-san.
I didn't say all of this to make you worry. [ he pauses again, to think. ] I'm not going to go out of my way to be possessed.
I just wanted you to know. [ so no one gets hurt. ] —So you'd know I wouldn't be pissed if you did beat me up. [ he slides that last part in there, offhandedly. ]
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[ There’s a chance that’s true, he supposes. But it’s far more likely that Megumi was only born with the capability. The knowledge came afterwards, from those around him. Someone must have taught Megumi that, in a truly worst-case scenario, his own life is simply another weapon to be used.
Adults are unfair, and underhanded, and stubborn. They both know that. But it pains Vangeance that the adults in Megumi’s life didn’t exercise their right to deceive in order to shield him from such dangerous knowledge. Something that should have been given to him cautiously, carefully, had instead been wrenched into him without finesse, and for Vangeance, the thought alone makes his chest ache.
That tension in the air subsides slowly, the flow of mana around him settling until the hem of his cloak rests still near his ankles once more, and Vangeance gives a small sigh. He’s calm because it’s second nature for him to make himself calm. But he’s never been unemotional — it’s simply that he forces his emotions down deep, only allowing them to skim the surface, and he does the same with the indignity and upset he feels on Megumi’s behalf right now. ]
I would have known all of that without your telling me. You aren’t reckless, but you’re also dutiful. If I incapacitated you this very moment because I believed you were a threat to others, I’m sure you would later accept that explanation with little protest or resentment. [ It was arrogant of Megumi to assume any of that hadn’t already been picked up on from their past discussions, but such is the nature of youth. Vangeance isn’t angry about that. His voice remains at the same composed lilt it always does as he continues gently, ] But ... what was it you told me before? I have good reason to be overbearing? That is also still true.
[ Megumi can say what he wants, but they both know that it isn’t right or fair for him to have to shoulder this burden. And Vangeance refuses to let that go unacknowledged. ]
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there's nothing he has to say in response to Vangeance's first claim. for all of his eagerness to throw his mentor under the bus in casual conversation, Megumi's tight-lippedness speaks to his unwillingness to critique the broad strokes of the same man's approach to his upbringing. the sentiment that settles in his eyes, calmer than they were when he admitted to his powers, is simple: it is what it is.
they're all fractured, broken people. Megumi doesn't begrudge his benefactor his attempt to equip Megumi with the tools necessary to navigate their labyrinthine circumstances. ]
...I appreciate what you're saying.
[ two years ago, Megumi wouldn't have. probably wouldn't have acknowledged it, nor would have put himself in this uniquely inopportune position. even now, this feels too close to relying on someone else for it to be comfortable— the way his syllables clip is a testament to his growing pains.
but he's steady. he accepts Vangeance first, because Vangeance is kind, and he looks without flinching at the patterns of the man's empathy, because that, too, is Vangeance's choice.
(because Vangeance is a man that hurts for others, and Megumi feels badly for putting him here.) ]
But my ability doesn't bother me. [ and, in all honesty? it doesn't. it isn't posturing, nor is it arrogance: again, it is what it is. ] I have duties, now. People I want to save. If there's something in my arsenal that I can use to see things through, then I would rather know about it than have it hidden from me.
[ because the alternative is knowing that he could have done something after the fact, and that would break him more; he knows that, now. hands at his sides, he keeps his focus on Vangeance. ] Being young isn't an excuse for me to not do my utmost.
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And after a moment, he answers softly, ]
... very well.
[ He acquiesces, and not reluctantly, or because he has no choice. He acquiesces because he understands the gravity of Megumi’s words, and no matter how he feels, to reject them now would be an unspeakable insult. Megumi is young, but not so young that he’d thoughtlessly accept the heavy burden of life-bound duties, and not so brash that he’d declare them without true dedication.
And Vangeance knows that he, of all people, could never begrudge someone who knows what they stand for. Megumi is able to say, without hesitation, without second thoughts, without regrets that he knows what he’s fighting for, and Vangeance knows that that alone makes Megumi a far stronger person than he’s ever been.
He continues quietly, gentle but encouraging. Steadfast. Accepting without any further stipulations: ]
I promise, then. I’ll do everything to prevent it, of course. But if the time ever comes, I will act without hesitation and do what you asked of me.
[ And, replaying Megumi’s words in his mind, he allows himself to feel a tiny wisp of relief. “People I want to save.” Not ‘need,’ not out of principle, but ‘want.’ Morals and a strong conscience alone can’t sustain a Knight, no matter how dutiful. A protector needs people. The bare minimum that anyone deserves. And Megumi is so many things — stoic, self-reliant, capable and mature — that he’d worried. Needlessly, it seems. True solitude, at least, doesn’t seem like something Megumi has chosen to endure.
He’s truly glad that Megumi is able to trust, and Vangeance allows himself a small smile. ]
I know this isn’t something you’d tell me without a great deal of consideration. [ ‘Thank you for trusting me.’ ] So you have my word.
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—he nods. notes the way the man smiles, as always. takes in his steadiness, in turn. as if this sort of balancing act isn't new for him.
(if anything, Megumi will do his utmost not to be a burden; not because he told Vangeance about his trump card, but because he's the sort of man that takes those warnings to heart.) ]
Thank you.
[ polite, but without the detached formality of a teenager going through the motions. what he lacks in decorum, he makes up for with eye contact that only breaks when he's sure that Vangeance understands.
a low breath, and he shifts his feet on grass. ]
Hopefully, we won't have to talk about it again. [ dryly, as if to move right on along. he doesn't want Vangeance to dwell, after all— it's all hypothetical, and he doesn't want that 'if' to drag. ] —Sorry.
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[ His smile remains steady, even as he cleanly rejects that last 'sorry': ]
I wasn't aware you did anything that merits an apology.
[ The tone and cadence of his voice remain light and breezy, keeping the admonishment gentle, but the hard focus of his gaze is obvious even past the shadow cast by his mask. He won't be budging on that point.
There's a tacit agreement here, which he hopes Megumi understands -- he accepted the request not as an individual, but as a Knight and a professional, willing to act without remorse if necessary. If he ends up dwelling on this (which he will), that's his own responsibility, not Megumi's.
He gently plucks his grimoire out of the air and closes it, the soft thump signifying the end of that conversation. And as he stows it away at his belt once more, he gives a thoughtful hum, soft and light. ]
But your abilities really are quite astounding. I noticed you arrived here on a different companion, as well -- some manner of bird?
[ Moving on. What's done is done. ]
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perspective. a moment to reorient. a held exhale, silent through his teeth.
the world is still turning. Megumi casts his gaze back down again, and answers the question. ]
You could say that. [ up goes his hands, thumbs hooked and fingers cupped. his shadow extends behind him in the shape of that winged beast, and it rears up to settle primly by Megumi's side. obedient, in every sense of the word.
he rests his palm on the flat of Nue's head. the touch is gentle. ] ―Which reminds me. Has this place affected your abilities in any way?
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He's still glancing Nue over, head canted curiously, when that question gets him to look up. ]
... no, I don't believe my magic's been affected.
[ That said, he approaches a half-step, hand slightly raised. Meeting Megumi's gaze to ask for permission to touch Nue. The dog from before had more closely resembled a regular animal, but this one's mask makes it a little less approachable, and he's not sure if it would be wise to make contact without approval. ]
I haven't had reason to cast any larger spells yet, but my usual spells seem to be working normally. Have your abilities been affected?
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they're precious to him, though. Megumi's shikigami. precisely because he's had to put his life on the line to keep them. there's no amount of apprehension to how he gently nudges Nue over to Vangeance ("you can go"), but there's affection in how he combs his fingers over the bird-creature's fur. ]
Not as far as I can tell.
[ Nue cranes forward, its gold eyes set on Vangeance, unblinking. ] —But I've heard that abilities and magic that manifest as an extension of you can be corrupted, so. [ Megumi thinks back to Vangeance and his powers, to how they left that small healing tree unattended after the flood. technically, that tree is still a living thing... right? ]
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It gives him an excuse to be silent for a moment and mull over his answer. ]
My magic probably doesn't count as an extension of myself. [ He'll start with this. Something nice and easy and not at all a secret. ] Mine is the control of mana -- energy that exists within all individuals, and in the atmosphere. Mages expend and manipulate mana in different ways, but because it's the same energy that exists everywhere, I don't think it counts as 'a part of us.' Much like you wouldn't count the air you breathe a part of yourself.
[ He's been gently petting at Nue's wing, running his fingers lightly down those long feathers, but slowly stills his hands. Vangeance pauses, and it's only the slightly distant look in his eyes that gives away any hesitation. Then, finally, he continues lightly, in a completely different direction: ]
-- you live in the same house as Natori, don't you? [ He looks up to gauge Megumi's reaction. ] I visited to speak with him a little while ago, and noticed it was the same place you live. Do you speak with him often?
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Megumi listens from behind his shikigami, slotting important details about Vangeance into place. he can, at the very least, cross off secondhand possessions from the man's list of concerns— if the magic he uses isn't inextricably tied to his own lifeforce, then there's less risk of Vangeance catching something unwittingly. good to know.
the pause and the addendum is a little out of left field, though. curiosity angles Megumi's head; one brow raises slightly, and it's evident that he's trying to connect the dots. ]
Yeah, I live with him. [ damn, Natori really gets around... a beat here, on his own part. ] If you're trying to ask me if he's talked to me about you, he hasn't.
[ blunt. Megumi harbors no illusions about the people around him: living in close quarters doesn't mean that they'll confide in him, and vice versa. ]
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He's not the type to gossip needlessly, is he. [ Even if he seems chatty and friendly, Natori does seem to have a shrewder side. Not the type to mindlessly give away information about other people. ] I do think there's a difference between sharing useful information and gossiping, but ... hm.
[ There's another thoughtful pause as he watches Nue's movements, admiring it absently while considering how to approach this.
He'd assumed Natori and Megumi had spoken about the former's inability to access his shiki, especially given the way both of them relied on summons. But given the way Megumi had responded ... is there a chance it's something Natori would be hesitant to disclose? A stain on his reputation, by some chance? Or too personally painful? Maybe. And it'd be remiss of him to discuss something Natori hasn't brought up himself. Then -- ]
Well, that aside, [ Alright. He'll take the fall and just show his cards. It's ... fine, he supposes. At least, it's preferable to the distrust that would occur if somehow Megumi and Natori end up talking and it comes up that he's been hiding information. He doesn't want to damage the little trust he's built up so far, not over this. Vangeance doesn't look up as he continues, quietly, ] It's not my magic, but I have been affected by this place, and he was helping me try to figure it out. I have a companion of sorts, who's been bound. Placed in a deep sleep.
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Natori and Vangeance fall under the grand umbrella of "knows a lot, but will only disclose if and when they absolutely have to". this is nothing new for him. Megumi has never been the type to try to force openness from others.
so. it's not exactly surprise that flits across his face when Vangeance does twist the key in that proverbial padlock: it's a combination of wariness (why?) and attentiveness. ]
—Your version of a shikigami?
[ 'companion'. something closer to Natori's shikigami than his own, maybe: humanoids with slightly more agency than his own beasts? hm.
Megumi doesn't interrupt further. he's giving Vangeance space to explain. ]
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It's hard to say without knowing exactly how your shikigami are defined but ... he's my spiritual companion. Nothing to do with my magic, and not an entity used for combat. [ He forces himself to keep his voice calm and level, like he always does. And for the most part, he manages to mask the gravity of what he's talking about. Like he really is talking about 'just' a companion. ] Apparently, it would have posed a special risk if I were to be possessed with my companion intact. And so, to minimize that risk, he was bound.
[ A pause, and he sighs before getting back to his feet. ]
I know you only asked about my magic, [ and it obviously isn't a pleasant subject to discuss ] but ... it felt like relevant information. In case you were considering other ways this place might have affected you.
[ Because Megumi is right -- Vangeance isn't the type to frivolously dispense information about himself. But he's willing to relent to a certain degree if it might be useful for others. ]
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a non-combatant spirit locked in someone else's body. truth be told, it doesn't sound pleasant: it doesn't seem like anything good would come out of housing another entity in your subconscious, and it seems like it would've been something artificially-induced. people aren't innately born with two distinct personalities, after all.
(or maybe he's projecting. Megumi quashes that personal association before it can take shape). ]
—This island had some sort of reason to believe that the spirit inside of you could break the balance in this place?
[ thinking out loud; Vangeance literally just said that his companion isn't a fighter, but it seems strange that Admin would cripple a harmless entity.
a deep breath, and Megumi tips his chin back up from where he'd been loosely hanging his head in thought. at the end of the day, what they don't know, they don't know— Vangeance has likely thought about this more deeply than he has (it's his business, after all), and if he hasn't come to a conclusion, then Megumi won't, either. at least, not immediately.
so: ] ...Anyway. You're okay? [ being without that spiritual companion doesn't like. hurt him, right? ]
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[ He smooths out the folds of his robe as he speaks. With his head ducked like that, it lets him take a moment to exhale slowly, fighting the painful pang in his chest and forcing himself calm. Because Megumi is someone he'd really rather hide the full truth from.
So when he's faced by that question, Vangeance just regards Megumi quietly for a moment, seeming to think the matter over, before smiling gently. Perfectly composed and warm and polished, like the Grand Magic Knight he is. ]
It's unpleasant but acceptable. And it hasn't caused my companion any harm, either. So you've no need to worry.
[ He really does a good job of sounding serene, because this sort of deception is second nature for him.
Though he does pause afterward, as if recalling something. Moving onto the next subject swiftly and (maybe a little too) smoothly: ]
Ah, but. Perhaps I should tell you this, in case it might be necessary in the future. [ He tugs aside the drape of his cloak, turning a little to touch at the pouch at the back of his belt containing his grimoire. ] If I'm ever possessed, it would help to take this away from me. I'm unable to cast complex spells without it. I imagine I'll be much easier to incapacitate that way.
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after all, the masked man makes a concession. he admits that it's unpleasant, and Megumi is inclined to believe that, at least. even if it's not the entire truth. even if strong people prop themselves up in these halves and build their foundations on top of them.
Megumi doesn't believe the smile, but he accepts it. ]
If it starts feeling strange [ he suggests, before Vangeance moves along: ], you should probably talk to Natori-san.
[ because Natori is a better candidate; would probably relate to Vangeance's issues better. with that out of the way, he's free to focus on the subject of other what-ifs.
he huffs between his teeth. slightly dry. ] Taking your book is going to be harder than breaking my arm, probably.
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Because the truth of the matter is that, in this specific case, the Administrator's decision might have been correct. It might be more merciful to keep his 'companion' sealed. No matter how it affects him, and even if it 'feels strange.'
Vangeance glosses over the matter because it's easier that way, instead addressing the dry retort. ]
Perhaps. [ A matter-of-fact response. He's humble, but not so humble as to downplay his own strength. It's true that few in the Kingdom would have been able to best him in combat. ] But I think you ... or some of the others here may be capable of it.
[ He looks Megumi over, assessing his physique and the subtle strength in his stance and posture. Then he gives Nue a small nod and a kind smile, just in case it's capable of feeling warmth and affection, like Megumi's dog had been. ]
In my homeland, those who rely on physical abilities are often looked down upon, seen as having lesser magical abilities. I never truly agreed with that way of thinking ... and I'm sure you and your companion could further prove me right. [ Close combat and speed will be key, in other words. He's reluctant to say it out loud, but he's sure Megumi can read between the lines. ] I don't plan on making myself vulnerable to the possession. But if worst comes to worst, I trust you'll know how to take me down. Through your own strength, or through another's.