[ ‘Why,’ Abel asks. Such a simple question, and yet it makes his head spin. Makes his next breath catch in his throat, a cold hand gripping tight around all his innards. The sick feeling he’s been tamping down the entire time threatens to spill over, and Vangeance forces himself to take a slow breath.

He’d thought himself prepared. Back in the Clover Kingdom, he’d spent so many sleepless nights thinking about what he would tell Julius, how he would apologize and explain himself, what his last words might be. But the circumstances now are so different; here, in this strange world, there’s a silent void in his chest and no mentor to look to. He’s spent his entire time here avoiding thinking about the details of what awaits him back in the Kingdom, reducing it to a single objective of ‘I must return.’ How can he explain any of this to Abel? If he even should at all.

His voice catches in his throat before he manages to speak again, steady but distant. ]

Because ... I was unable to choose.

[ His gaze drops to that rosary where it still lies on the table, his hand tense. The desire to stand and leave is almost overwhelming, and it shows in the tense line of his shoulders. ]

So they will make the decision for me. [ Vangeance’s voice lowers to something soft, full of love and longing and pain. ] The two people dearest to me, who can never coexist.